Always go to the Funeral

April 6, 2013 was a beautiful spring day. The sun was bright and warm. I wore a sleeveless dress to the funeral. I remember walking from the church to the cemetery and thinking, "I should be golfing with Daddy today."

It was the worst week of my life. Unfortunately, it's also true what the country song says: when something terrible happens, "you find out who your friends are." I learned this the hard way when my dad passed away.

Before my dad's funeral, I didn't realize how important it was that my parents told me to "always go to the funeral." I've been to funerals of at least a dozen people I've never met, because I know someone who cared deeply about the individual who passed away. I didn't realize how important this was until it was my own family who turned around and looked out at the church, heartbroken at the loss of such a wonderful man and father.

The fact is, it matters. It makes a difference. As my dad said, always go to the funeral, and if you can't, send a card. Call and check in. Drop by and knock on the front door. Stop and ask, "How can I be there for you now at this terrible time?" Do something, because even if you don't know what to say, it is worse beyond belief to say or do nothing at all.

Many of my oldest and best friends drove in from out of town to be there, including one who drove 18 hours to be in Wichita for less than 12. I cannot express how much it meant to me that these friends dropped everything to hit the road and be there. I've tried, but they will never understand that their presence physically helped me get through the day. Other friends I had not talked to in weeks or years asked Raymond for my address and sent a card, or surprised me in the receiving line at the church. I am so thankful for the amazing amount of love and support my family received at that time.

Unfortunately, I learned some hard lessons on the flip side. Some friends I thought were close didn't show up, call, or send a card. Some were there all week to support me or help out, but six months later were nowhere to be found. Some got tired of me when I wasn't "over it" in three months.

I knew I would "find out who my friends are," but I didn't realize it might take all year.

Overly-dramatic Pinterest words to live by.

After my dad died I could not bear to be on the golf course. It was too painful; the reality that he was not there, and would never be there again, was too hard to play with. He taught me to play. He had always been there. The one time I tried to play a few months after he passed away it felt like there was a dagger stabbing my heart on every tee box and green: his absence.

He had a pure love of the game. After he made me move to the men's tees, whenever he beat me on a hole or a round he was straight up gleeful. I didn't want to play without him, and until last week I wondered if I ever really would get back into the game that I loved so much. Then my mom, the most amazing woman on earth, surprised me by announcing she was joining the woman's club and she wanted to learn how to play golf.

The last thing my dad asked me to do before he died was to teach my mom how to play. I would have done it anyway, but knowing how painful it was for me, I didn't know if she would ever want to try. Last week she played her first round of golf. Afterwards she was so excited to tell me about every hole that she made me want to play again. I am so happy that today we played our first round together (first ever). I realized as we walked the course that if she wants to play golf, then I want all those memories I have with my dad with her too. He would have been so happy to see us out on the course today. I could feel him there with us, cheering us on, laughing at us in the trees, and walking with us every step of the way. I realized that of all places, I feel closest to him on the course.

He is gone, but his love of the game, thrill of a challenge, and warm presence will be there with us. Heck, we even got to go to the beach with him when I found a sandtrap...

Midwest Christmas Marathon and Wedding Planning

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and crazy January!

Raymond and I were lucky to get out of Wichita for a few days over Christmas and surprise his family in St. Louis. His mom had no idea we were coming until we walked through the door. It was wonderful to relax and explore for a couple days before we drove on to Branson and Silver Dollar City.

Raymond had to work on his birthday but we had a nice dinner and cake! New Year's Eve was relaxed with a few friends. It was exactly what we needed. I went back to work expecting to ease into January and was blown away by such a busy schedule. Immediately I jumped into a banquet space renovation project, worked the bridal expo, finished rental pricing changes, and much more.

I'm thrilled to see the space renovations coming along both professionally and personally. Our wedding reception is planned at the Museum! Here's a sneak peek at the new paint color:

Stepping backwards (for an important reason), in December my dad was given an Honorary Degree from Newman University. It was a big day for my mom and family. My dad always wondered if someday he would have given enough time and love to Newman to be considered for such an honor. Unfortunately he was not here to see it happen. We missed him terribly, but my mom gave a fantastic acceptance speech; I'm so proud of her! If only things were different, and he had been here to celebrate and be his usual humble self.

Wedding plans are coming along. Do you have a reasonably priced DJ you would recommend? Please leave me a comment if so! Choosing a caterer led to some tasty research. I was thrilled to pick and order my dress a couple weeks ago at The White Dress.

#GivingTuesday: Working at a Local Nonprofit

I love my job. I am the Marketing and Development Manager at the Museum of World Treasures in Old Town Wichita, KS. I don't know why I started as a business major at Newman University -- the Communication department was where I was destined to end up. Changing my major and jumping head first into the department was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

The Museum of World Treasures is the one of the only family-friendly attractions in Old Town. Happy to be there!

I'm thankful to have completed my degree and actually have a position doing something relevant to my education (which is not common for new grads around the area). I never dreamed of working in a history museum, but now I can't imagine my first full-time career position anywhere else. Not everyone gets to work with 500 million year old rocks, shrunken heads, or a T. rex every day, and Ivan is one of my best buddies.

Ivan the T. rex was found in South Dakota only five feet under the ground.

Today I had the opportunity to promote #GivingTuesday, a national campaign to add a day of giving to the shopping line up of Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday. Did you give to a nonprofit that is meaningful to you? If you support the Museum's efforts of providing quality educational programs, exhibits, and school tours, please consider donating online here before Dec. 5, 2013. If you are interested in donating to the Museum at any other time, please call 316.263.1311.

Here's my #UNselfie for #GivingTuesday. I give because I'm #TeamIvan!

Wichita is blessed to have so many art and culture driven organizations. These nonprofits are very important to the development and growth of the city, but need help and support to thrive. To help generate revenue, the Museum rents out banquet space on the third floor. Raymond and I are excited to be planning our reception around the space. There will be dinosaur wedding photos (and maybe cake toppers)!

Thanksmas or Christgiving?

Raymond and I hung Christmas lights on my duplex last weekend, and last night I turned them on. No shame! Unlike some people, I have no problem mixing Thanksgiving and Christmas. What's the difference between last night and next weekend, anyway?

Every year at Christmas my family visits Silver Dollar City in Branson, MO. These are just a few of the thousands of trees covered in twinkling lights. We used to go over the Thanksgiving holiday, so it's possible my parents felt the same as me about combining the winter holiday love. I'm thankful we were able to go last December, as it was the last trip we made with my Dad and gave us all some wonderful memories (including snow!).

It's not that I don't love Thanksgiving -- I do -- but I don't see what's wrong with extending the Christmas season and making Thanksgiving part of it. I love Christmas so much that I want to enjoy the lights, tree, and warm candlelight longer than four short weeks. Besides, it takes at least one of those weeks just to get all the decorations out of the box.

Last year my parents and little sister spent Thanksgiving with me in Dublin, Ireland. The pub we stopped in for dinner had this "Thanksgiving" special! None of my family ordered it, but I had been in Europe for three months already and wanted a taste of home. It was delicious, as was the red lemonade in the picture, something you can only order in Ireland.

Last November only confirmed my opinion about merging the two major holidays when I was in Europe and the German Christmas Markets went up the first or second week of November. England obviously does not celebrate Thanksgiving, which allows them to enjoy the German beer, hand-crafted sweets, and carnival Christmas festival for at least two or three weeks longer than it would culturally be allowed in the USA. Tell me, what's wrong with celebrating Christmas for as long as possible?

The German Christmas Markets in Europe can go on for miles! Raymond and I had the chance to visit three or four different markets while in Europe. Birmingham had the largest outside of Germany! Oh, what I would give for some of those Christmas sweets or German beer here in Kansas...

Tomorrow I will take more glittery Christmas goodies out of their boxes and joyfully place them around my small duplex. In a couple weeks I will enjoy a delicious spread of food for Thanksgiving, including all my favorites (my mom's turkey, cream corn, Raymond's mashed potatoes, and LOTS of pie). And all the while, my phone will play Christmas songs that not only make me happy, but also very, very thankful.